4 Challenges of Parenting with Migraine and How to Cope

By Sara Berkowitz, Association of Migraine Disorders (AMD)

Parenting can be a rewarding yet demanding journey. Add in migraine, and even small challenges can feel overwhelming. From sleepless nights and noisy playrooms to migraine attacks that disrupt daily routines, balancing your family’s needs can be a struggle. 

We asked our Shades for Migraine Community about some of the biggest challenges they face as parents with migraine. In this blog, we’ll explore some of these realities and offer ideas to help you manage. 

“Migraine is a thief, and its negative effects are always with us and our families,” said Dr. Lindsay Weitzel in AMD ‘s blog, Moms with Migraine, You are Superheros.

*Note: Parenting is tough! Parents with migraine face many challenges, and this list is not meant to be all-encompassing.*  

1. Unpredictability 

While everyone experiences migraine differently, migraine attacks are often unpredictable. You might wake up feeling fine, only to be struck by blinding pain or debilitating symptoms later. Most parents have systems and schedules in place, but a migraine attack can disrupt routines, plans, and expectations. An attack may lead to canceled plans, resulting in disappointment and frustration. Due to the unpredictability of migraine, families sometimes have to scramble to find solutions.

On social media, one SFM follower said one of her biggest challenges is “not knowing when I’ll be too sick to show up or miss big events.”

2. Balancing Migraine and Child Care

Migraine can greatly affect how individuals function. It can limit parents’ ability to care for their children. Depending on their symptoms, some parents might struggle to stand or speak, let alone drive, cook, or even hold their kids. 

Unfortunately, affordable, accessible, and reliable child care can be difficult to find for many. Securing short-term or last-minute child care to cover your needs during an attack may feel impossible. 

A support system with friends, family, and neighbors can help. But when no one is able to step in, what options are left? This can be even harder for those with infants or toddlers who need constant care, making it difficult to manage symptoms while meeting their child’s needs.

When SMF followers were asked on social media about the biggest challenges they face as parents with migraine, many mentioned difficulty making dinner, keeping up with housework, and assisting with homework. Others said it’s hard not being able to lie down or take a break during a migraine attack because they have to be an attentive parent. Another said they just don’t have the energy to be a present and active parent.

3. Sensory Overload 

People with migraine have a hypersensitive nervous system. For many, this means they are especially sensitive to stimuli like light, sound, smell, touch, and more. Those living with migraine often experience sensory overload from loud noises, bright lights, and constant movement. It can be challenging to avoid these migraine triggers while meeting your child’s needs, making it difficult to find relief and stay engaged. When asked about the biggest challenge of parenting with migraine, one social media follower simply replied, “too much noise.”

4. Emotional Toll and Guilt

Migraine can take an emotional toll on both parents and children. It can leave parents feeling guilty for missing events or participating less in daily activities. Kids can feel a range of emotions as migraine attacks may prevent their parents from playing, engaging, nurturing, consoling, or showing up. Parents may worry their relationships will be affected. 

Talking Openly About Migraine Can Help

Kids are observant and intuitive. They can tell when a parent isn’t quite themself. Talking openly about migraine and its symptoms can help a child understand what their parent is going through. Reminder: age-appropriate communication is key. 

Explain how migraine and its symptoms affect you. This can help kids understand why you act or behave differently at times. One day, you feel well enough to play, tackle homework, and enjoy dinner together. The next day may bring intense pain that leaves you confined to bed, relying on medication, darkness, and an ice pack. 

Allow time and space for your child to ask questions and share their feelings, especially about how they are impacted. Talking about migraine and how it impacts your entire family can help build empathy and understanding. 

Helping Kids Understand Migraine

Talking about how migraine affects you and your family may look different for everyone. The key is to be honest, reassuring, and age-appropriate. Need some guidance navigating conversations? Here are some talking points and suggestions from parents and experts.

• Explain what migraine is. Talk about the symptoms you have and what they feel like.
• Talk about what makes you feel better and what you do to care for yourself. Explain that migraine is temporary. You don’t feel well now, but with rest and medicine (etc.), you will feel better.
• Talk about how migraine affects you and your family. 
• Offer reassurance. Kids worry about their loved ones. Let them know that, yes, migraine can be painful and disruptive, but you aren’t going anywhere. Tell them doctors are helping you take care of yourself. 
• Together, talk about and develop a plan for what your family can do when you experience a migraine attack. This can also help set expectations. 
• Explain that you don’t always know when migraine attacks are going to happen.

Dawn Buse, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist and Clinical Professor of Neurology at Albert Einstein College of Medicine, says talking about the unpredictableness of migraine is valuable. 

“It comes without warning for most people most of the time. Help your child understand this aspect of migraine so they know it’s not something you can always control,” said Buse in a Spotlight on Migraine podcast interview with The Association of Migraine Disorders.

More Strategies To Cope

Parents with migraine face all sorts of difficulties, but you are not alone. Here are some recommendations from Shades for Migraine community members on ways to cope:

• Practice daily quiet time.
• Reach out to friends, families, and neighbors and see if they are willing to help.
• Don’t put life on hold; do what you can when you can
• Maintain balance and keep routines (for yourself and your family).
• Join a supportive migraine community (like Shades for Migraine!) and connect with others going through the same thing.
• Have a plan and a backup plan. Having backup plans provides structure and minimizes disruptions.

Sponsor a Pair of Virtual Shades & Make Migraine Visible! Migraine may be invisible, but its impact is very real. Shades for Migraine uses sunglasses as a powerful symbol to represent the light sensitivity many experience and to bring visibility to this often-unseen disease. Every contribution brings us one step closer to a more understanding and supportive world for those living with migraine.

Please join us in raising awareness and showing your support for Shades for Migraine! Participation is easy, post a photo wearing sunglasses to social media on or around June 21st with #ShadesForMigraine.